Family-Friendly Short Stories, Cartoons, and Illustrations
This story was originally posted May 12, 2017. It was posted again on May 31, 2019. It was one of the first of my many mad scientist stories. Mad scientists are fun to write about. They are logical, and have goals, and are sometimes also a little bit too dramatic, creative, or silly. It’s all very likable.
This video took a couple retakes to get right. I hope you enjoy it! Please let me know what you think!
Bert was a proud mad scientist. He even managed to find a minion. Well, a paid employee anyway. His employee, John, was a graduate student who hadn’t been able to find any other internship offers. He wasn’t a hunchback, but he was a lot taller than Bert and had to stoop over to avoid smashing his face into low-hanging light fixtures. It was close enough.
One day Bert was still cooking his lunch when John came in from his lunch break. John shook the rain off his umbrella and left it in the bucket by the door. Bert decided not to tell him it was a trashcan. The banana peels at the bottom wouldn’t really harm the umbrella after all.
“Why does it always rain just around your house?” John asked.
“It doesn’t always rain. Just at meal times,” Bert said.
“Do you have some sort of weather machine?” John asked.
“Of course I do, how else would the storms be so regular? What did they teach you at that school you went to?”
John slapped his hands on the kitchen table and leaned forward. “Really? Did you really invent a weather machine?”
“I just told you I did.”
John leaned back and bounced a little on his heels. “That’s amazing! You could take over the world!”
Bert snorted. “That’s ridiculous.”
“No it’s not. You could threaten countries with droughts or floods or the next ice age. You could take over everything,” John said. “Isn’t that what mad scientists want?”
“You don’t know many mad scientists, do you?” Bert asked. He hummed and flipped the brussel sprouts. Nearly done.
“Well, no. But I’ve seen some on TV,” John said.
“Mad scientists are generally scientists first and want more time to work on their favorite projects. Who wants to do paperwork or meet with politicians or deal with all those people and their uninteresting problems?” Bert said. “No thank you.”
John shifted from foot to foot. “Well, could I borrow it and take over the world?”
Bert sighed. “Sorry, it has a secret government patent. And I developed a wide range signal blocker to counter it for them too. How do you think I had the money to pay for an intern?”
“Oh,” John said. He sat on one of the kitchen chairs with a thump. “That’s disappointing. So why do you need the storms?”
“I cook with lightning. Another good burst and my sprouts will be done.” Bert pulled a plate out of the cupboard. “It’s been a little slow today.”
“Why cook with lightning? Wouldn’t the stovetop be more precise?” John asked.
“There. Now you’re thinking like a scientist!” Bert said. “You would be correct. However, you are overlooking the benefits of this cooking method.”
“What benefits? Is it healthier?”
“Not that I know of,” Bert said. Just then, there was a bang and the house rattled. The cooker glowed and a bolt of light shot out and hit the brussel sprouts. One of them started shaking, and then sprouted little tendrils. It lifted itself on four of the tendrils and began to wobble around the stovetop.
“What is that?” John asked.
“The benefit,” Bert said. “Sometimes, the vegetables come to life.”
“So, are you building an army of living vegetables?” John asked.
Bert sighed. “What did I tell you about taking over the world?”
“You don’t want to?”
“I don’t want to,” Bert said. “Mostly they work outside in the garden. It makes them happy and gives me a steady supply of vegetables to eat.”
“Do they mind you eating them?” John asked.
“Not as long as they don’t see it.” Bert carefully scooped up the little sprout and took it out the back door. He came back in a few minutes later and tipped the rest of the sprouts onto a plate. He opened a drawer and grabbed a fork. “I’m eating a late lunch, but your lunch break is over. Back to the paperwork, John. It’s why I’m paying you.”
John trudged off the living room. “Why is there so much more paperwork on my desk?” he asked loudly.
“I got a lot of work done while I was waiting for the storm machine to heat up. So, more work for you.” Bert cackled.
“That sounds more like a mad scientist from TV. Are you sure you don’t want to take over the world?”
“Oh, hush,” Bert said.
Following a voice through the mist was difficult. Isaac wasn’t always sure which direction it was coming from. Plus, he had to keep ducking to avoid tree branches that came out of nowhere.
Luckily, just as the odd song about insects made from food ended, he arrived at doorway where the old man was waiting. Isaac remembered to applaud, and the old man bowed.
“So, where are we?” Isaac asked.
“This is my laboratory. I designed it myself. It’s so much more practical than Teddy’s lab.” the old man grinned.
“Teddy?”
“The other scientist on the beach. He designed a dungeon laboratory. So impractical. It is damp and moldy and of course that messes with the experiments. Mine is so much better. I’m Billy, by the way.” The old man pointed to himself.
Isaac held out a hand. “I’m Isaac.”
The old man leaned back and folded his arms. “I don’t shake hands. Germs.”
Isaac let his hand drop. “Oh. Of course. So, how is your laboratory different?”
“It’s a tower. You have to come and see.” Billy put a hand on the door and the entire door glowed neon blue before disappearing. “Come on in. Just don’t touch anything. Germs.”
Isaac followed him inside. The entryway was brightly lit. Glass cases lined the walls. He put his hands behind his back and leaned forward to peer inside the closest case.
“Is that a toaster?” he asked.
Billy looked over his shoulder. “Yes it is. I designed it to work upside-down, to save on counter space.”
“But doesn’t that mean the bread just falls onto the counter?” Isaac asked.
“When it’s done toasting. You just have to position your plate just right. I suggest gluing your plate to the counter so you don’t have to worry about it.”
“But then it doesn’t really save counter space at all,” Isaac pointed out.
“Maybe. Maybe not. It’s not really my concern. I just invented it.” Billy pointed to another glass case. “Look over there, that’s one I’m really proud of.”
Isaac looked into the case. “It looks like goggles. Like the ones Teddy was wearing.”
“That’s right. I invented them to see through fog. He stole my idea for them to make his own. We haven’t talked unless we absolutely have to ever since.”
Isaac frowned. “Well, living here, he’d need something to see through the fog. He might have just come up with something similar at the same time.”
Billy thumped his walking stick on the ground. “Of course not. It took me years to develop them. It was after that when I turned on the fog machine to test them out. How would he know in advance that I would create a fog machine or that I wouldn’t be able to turn it off? And yet he was wearing the goggles a month later. He stole my idea. It’s the only explanation.”
Isaac nodded. “Maybe you’re right. Can I borrow the goggles and look out the window of the tower? I’d love to see the island, but the fog gets in the way.”
“You have to give them back when we get to the moon gate,” Billy said. “I won’t have anyone else run off with any of my ideas or my inventions. And you’ll have to sign a non-disclosure agreement.”
“Of course.” Isaac crossed his heart and signed the papers that the scientist pulled out of his lab coat pocket.
Billy took them back, making sure not to touch the parts of the paper that Isaac touched. “Leave the pen on the case right there. I’ll disinfect it later. Germs.”
Then he took a ring of keys out of a different pocket and unlocked the glass case. He took out the goggles and handed them to Isaac, and locked up the case one more time. “The stairs are this way. We’ll go straight up to the moon gate. Feel free to look out the windows on our way up.”
The spiral staircase was in the middle of the tower. It alternated between narrow and wide spirals. The windows were on the wide spirals. Looking out with the goggles on, it was like there was no mist at all. There was also no one else on the island.
He could see a little shack on the opposite side of the small hill at the center of the island, which he assumed was the entrance to Teddy’s lab. Otherwise, it was all trees and rocks. No party.
Isaac took off the goggles with a small smile. There was only one island left. He was almost done.
“All done,” Billy said just then. “Behind this door is the moon gate.”
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