Family-Friendly Short Stories, Cartoons, and Illustrations
This story was originally posted December 8, 2016. It was posted again on May 3, 2019. It remains my favorite of the stories I’ve posted here, so I chose it to be the first of my flashback videos.
I had a lot of fun making the video. I hope you enjoy it, too. Please let me know what you think!
Brian took off his coat and settled in his seat. It was time for his oldest daughter’s school play. He glanced at the program. There she was, on the back of the program, listed under stage crew.
He felt a little silly coming to watch a play full of teenagers when he wasn’t related to any of the actual performers. However, he felt like he was supporting the theater department by showing up, or something like that.
Halfway through the first act, he wished he’d stayed home. It was dark, and he couldn’t hear half the lines, and he kept falling asleep. Why had he come again?
And then, all the lights came on at once. The audience members looked at each other, blinking. The teenagers on stage froze in place, looking confused. And then four men in pirate costumes ran onstage.
“We are now stealing your show,” the one dressed as a captain said. He tugged on the end of his goatee with an evil chuckle. “You may get it back, but it will never be the same.” He laughed louder. The pirates behind him started to juggle and hula hoop, but they were rather terrible at both.
Brian straightened in his chair. This wasn’t on the program. The pirates looked too old to be teenagers. Were they teachers from the school? He didn’t recognize them.
The pirates were now attempting to jump rope and solve rubix cubes. Perhaps they’d do better to try one thing at a time. Brian snorted and clapped as a pirate managed to tangle two others in the jump rope.
The laughter and applause grew louder. They quieted as the pirates sang an odd song about grog and bowed. The audience cheered. The lights went out. When they went back on, the pirates were gone.
“Jenny,” Brian said to his daughter as he drove her home that night, “who were the pirates? They were hilarious. It was the best five minutes of the show.”
“That wasn’t part of the show, Dad,” Jenny said. “No one knows who they are.”
“That’s really weird,” Brian said.
Two weeks later, it was the opening night for the last movie in the trilogy about the dinosaurs that saved the world from alien invasions. All the showings were sold out for three days. It was going to be the movie of the year.
Brian had camped out overnight to get tickets for the first showing. Everyone he knew was jealous. Brian brought a notebook to record his impressions for discussions with his friends when they finally saw it. He pinched his arm when he entered the theater.
Everyone sat down for the previews and waited expectantly. Then the studio logo came onscreen. The audience cheered. Then there was a scratchy sort of noise and the pirates appeared, larger than life. “We have stolen the show,” the captain said. “To get it back, you must follow the map. Good bye!” He laughed.
A map of the theater replaced the image of the pirates. Brian copied the map into his notebook. His wife Sally and their children followed him. Most of the audience members were already searching the theater.
Seeing Brian’s map, a group joined them as they followed the trail. They followed the map to a storeroom at the back of the theater. The theater manager had come along with the group, and he let them into the room. The film was in a sealed box of serving containers for movie popcorn. When he opened the box he nearly cried in relief. “We can watch the show now,” he said. Everyone cheered.
Three days later, it was Sally’s birthday. Brian tried to convince her that the movie was an awesome birthday celebration, but she wanted a nice dinner out and had already made reservations. The restaurant was so fancy they had to dress up.
It had more than one menu and lots of silverware and a piano player in the corner playing classical music. Brian wanted to run away. “We can still go for pizza,” he whispered. His wife rolled her eyes.
They were halfway through eating their cold soup when the piano music came to a halt with a smash of keys. Everyone looked over. Two pirates were busy tying up the piano player. A third was tying his shoes laces together. The captain looked on, tugging at his goatee and chortling. He turned, hands on his hips, and looked at the diners.
“We’ve come to steal your show,” he said.
“You ruined my son’s track meet,” a man yelled.
“You knocked that poor mime into the park fountain,” someone else yelled.
“Did you really need to interrupt the debate competition? Or the spelling bee?” another diner asked.
A man glared, face red. “You were the ones who spoiled my press conference!”
“The audience was still laughing when my daughter won the beauty pageant. I hate you,” a woman said. She slammed her fist on the table. Her soup sloshed dangerously.
“I see that our reputation precedes us,” the captain said. “And so, for our devoted fans…”
“I hate you,” the woman repeated.
“… we have a special treat.” The captain continued. “A sword dance, with musical accompaniment.”
One of the pirates played chopsticks. The captain clapped along, and the other two pirates waved their swords around and stomped back and forth. A security guard approached them. The lights went off. When they turned back on the pirates were gone.
“I hate them,” the woman repeated.
“This was great,” Brian whispered. “I’m glad we came. Even if the soup was cold.”
Sally rolled her eyes. “At least someone is happy.”
The security guards untied the piano player. Several people were gathering their things and leaving. In the end, Brian and his wife stayed and got a discount on their meal and a free dessert.
Brian had a long meeting scheduled at work on Monday. He knew it was going to drag on and on, and no one would say anything new. He wondered if the pirates took requests.
Eglantine wandered into the poorly lit store that she’d never noticed before. It was squeezed between a coffee shop filled with scruffy people and a grocery store that had closed nearly a decade ago. She would normally never even look twice at anything along this street, but her car had a flat tire and her phone died, so she needed to find a way to call a tow truck.
There was no one at the counter. Eglantine looked around and couldn’t find a bell to ring either. “Hello? Is anybody there?” she said. She looked around. It certainly was a strange store. I was so dimly lit that it was difficult to see what was on the shelves from here.
“Can I help you?” a low, crackly voice asked. Eglantine nearly jumped in surprise. She hadn’t heard anyone come in.
She turned and faced the young man standing behind the counter. He was tall and thin and pale with dark hair and a bit of an overbite. He seemed harmless. Eglantine smiled. “Do you have a phone I could use? My battery died and my car has a flat tire.”
“Just a moment.” The young man reached under the counter and picked up an old-fashioned phone that he set down at her elbow.
“Is that a rotary dial? I haven’t seen one of those since I was a little girl.” She smiled and carefully dialed the number. She arranged to meet the tow truck driver in front of the grocery store in twenty minutes.
Task done, Eglantine looked around the store again. “What do you sell here?”
“Sweets for monsters,” the young man said. He looked completely serious. Eglantine looked at his black clothing and pale appearance. The store must cater to teenagers who liked dressing up as vampires and such.
Eglantine had always had a bit of a sweet tooth. She didn’t mind playing along with the theme, as long as the candy tasted good. “What would you recommend?”
“What kind of monster are you?” the young man asked.
Well, that was hardly helpful. “Does it matter?”
The young man looked confused. “Of course it does.” He waved towards a dark shelf that looked like most of the others. “Just look at the lollipops. Vampires like blood pops, werewolves like meat pops, and zombies like brain pops.”
Those were terrible flavor names. And they didn’t really hint at what the flavors really tasted like. Kids and their strange obsessions. “What’s your bestseller?” Eglantine asked.
The young man pointed to a box on the counter filled with bland looking packaged bars of some type. “This far from Halloween we sell a lot of spectral energy bars.”
Ugh. Protein bars. “Do they taste good?”
The young man blinked. “They don’t taste like anything.”
Eglantine laughed. “I believe it.” She checked her watch. The tow truck driver would be here in a few minutes. If she was going to buy herself a treat, she’d need to decide on something soon. “So, what do you think I would like?”
“If you like jam, we have a new shipment in,” the young man said.
“Sure,” she said. “I’ll get a baguette on the way home and have toast and jam and hot cocoa.” She smiled. She could already see herself curled in her favorite chair watching the weather channel and enjoying her treat. “Pick out two. Surprise me,” she said.
“All right.” The young man walked around the counter to a nearby shelf and picked up two little jars. He put them into a little plain paper bag with handles and set it on the counter. He rang up the purchase on an old-fashioned register. “How will you be paying?”
“Cash.” She handed him a bill that would comfortably cover the cost. “Keep the change,” she said. “Thanks for the help.”
She hurried over to her car. Just as she arrived, the tow truck pulled up. In all the hassle of dealing with the tow truck and the repair shop, she forgot all about the jam until she was driving home that evening. “Oh, I need to stop at the bakery.” She was able to just make the turn in time.
Before going into the bakery, she decided to peek at the jars the young man had picked out. Lizard Scale Jelly and Banana Peel and Parsley Jam? What did they really taste like? They sounded terrible. Well, if they tasted bad, at least the jars were cute. She could put them on her desk and use them to hold paperclips and stamps. Really, teenagers these days were so strange.
Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Smith were leaving the grocery store at the same time one day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing. Everything seemed wonderful. The two neighbors smiled widely at each other. “It’s so good to see you,” Mrs. Jones said.
“It’s been such a long time since we last talked,” Mrs. Smith said. “How are you doing?”
“I’m doing well. I just harvested the last of my pears,” Mrs. Jones said. “How have you been?”
“Oh, I do love pears,” Mrs. Smith said. “I’ve been fine. I started singing in the community choir. You should come.”
“I don’t sing, but let me know when your next performance is, and I’ll come cheer you on,” Mrs. Jones said.
And then, the handle of her grocery bag broke, and a cabbage, three carrots, and a can of beans fell out and started to roll away. Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Jones chased after the escaping groceries.
The carrots hadn’t gone far. Mrs. Jones scooped them up and put them in another bag. She crouched to fish the cabbage out from under a car. When she straightened up and put the cabbage securely away, Mrs. Smith was returning with the can of beans.
“They almost went into the storm drain,” Mrs. Smith said. “I caught them just in time.”
“Thank you so much,” Mrs. Jones said.
“Don’t mention it,” Mrs. Smith said.
“I’d better get my groceries home before something else happens,” Mrs. Jones said.
“Of course. I’ll see you later,” Mrs. Smith said.
And the ladies went home and put their groceries away. That evening, Mrs. Jones brought Mrs. Smith a pear cobbler. “It’s to thank you for helping me with my groceries,” she said.
“Thank you so much,” Mrs. Smith said.
“You’re welcome,” Mrs. Jones said.
A few days later, Mrs. Smith returned Mrs. Jones’s pan. She put some cookies inside the pan. “I made you some cookies to thank you for the cobbler,” she said.
“Thank you so much,” Mrs. Jones said.
“You’re welcome,” Mrs. Smith said.
A few days later, Mrs. Jones stopped by to visit Mrs. Smith. She brought a bag of peppermints. “Thank you for the cookies,” she said. “They were delightful.”
“Thank you for the peppermints,” Mrs. Smith said. “They’re my favorite kind.”
A few days later, Mrs. Smith visited Mrs. Jones. “No more sweets, please,” Mrs. Jones said. “I’ve eaten far too much sugar this week.”
Mrs. Smith laughed. “Me, too. I don’t have any sweets. Just a flyer for my choir concert. I hope you can come.”
Mrs. Jones smiled. “I’d love to! Thank you.”
“I’m so glad,” Mrs. Smith said. She handed Mrs. Jones the flyer. “Oh, and a thank you card,” she said. She handed Mrs. Jones a card. “For the peppermints. Well, I’ll see you later.” She left, feeling certain she had won.
Three days later, Mrs. Smith was retrieving her mail from the mailbox. She sorted through the bills and advertisements. “Oh, look, this one’s from Mrs. Jones.” She opened it. It was a lovely handmade card. “Thank you for the thank you card,” it said.
Ethan watched his mom go through the mail and sort it into piles. “Did I get anything?” he asked.
“Not today,” she said.
Ethan frowned. “I never get any letters.”
Mom tossed all the junk mail into the recycling bin. “You have to send letters to get letters,” she said.
“But who would I write to?”
Mom smiled. “How about Grandpa?”
And so, Ethan wrote a letter to Grandpa.
Dear Grandpa,
On the way home from school today, I saw a squirrel. Did you walk to school when you were my age? Did you have recess? I like to play four square. My favorite lunch is peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Write back please.
Love, Ethan
A week later, Mom handed Ethan a letter. “It looks like Grandpa wrote back,” she said. Ethan ripped open the envelope and unfolded the letter.
Dear Ethan,
I rode an elephant to school. We had to stick to the shadows so that the dinosaurs didn’t see us and try to eat us. We couldn’t play four square because of all of the lava on the playground. If we tossed the ball wrong, it melted and caught on fire at the same time.
So, mostly we just used big rocks to crack open small rocks to see what was inside. Generally, what’s inside of rocks is more rock. But sometimes there are jellybeans. You have to be pretty lucky to find jellybeans.
I liked to bring a lunch pail full of frog eye salad to eat at lunch time. There was a kid at my school from the fancy part of town. He had a trained penguin bring him shaved ice for lunch on a silver tray. I always thought that would be a pretty lousy lunch. I imagine he was rather jealous of my salad.
What
have you been learning this year in school?
Love, Grandpa
Ethan read the letter out loud to his mom. She laughed out loud. “Ethan, you know that people weren’t around the same time as dinosaurs, right? And I’m sure your grandpa didn’t ride an elephant to school or see any penguins there.”
“What about the frog eyes?” Ethan asked.
“That’s a type of pasta,” Mom said.
“Oh,” Ethan said. “I think I’ll go write Grandpa back now.”
Dear Grandpa,
Thanks for writing back. Mom said that your stories mostly weren’t true. They were funny though. In school we learn reading and math and science and geography and things like that. What did you learn in school? What did you do for fun? Did you have homework? I do sometimes. But Mom lets me play video games when I get my homework done. Write back soon.
Love, Ethan
A week later, Ethan got another letter.
Dear Ethan,
Maybe I dreamed the elephant. And the dinosaurs. I’m not sure. I’m pretty sure there was lava though. In school we learned the three Rs: resting, remembering, and wrestling. Or something like that.
Homework took a long time to do. We had to dive into the ocean and wrestle giant squids in order to get ink for our pens. We had to pound reeds into paper to write on. We didn’t have calculators, so we had to gather people together until we had enough fingers and toes to count on to finish our math problems.
Most of my friends used their extra time trying to take over the world. I usually relaxed with my favorite book, an unabridged dictionary. It was an amazing book. There was something new on every page. I tried to take over the world once, just for fun, but that’s another story.
Do you like to read?
Love, Grandpa
Ethan read the letter to Mom. “Did Grandpa really wrestle squids and make his own paper?” Ethan asked.
“They had paper and ink at the store when he was younger,” Mom said. “Grandpa really isn’t that old.”
“He’s really funny though,” Ethan said. “I’m going to go write him another letter. Then maybe I’ll read the dictionary.”
And Ethan wrote another letter, and then he discovered the dictionary was more interesting than he thought. And later his Grandpa wrote back, but that’s another story.
I have six weeks or so left until my website anniversary. I like to try new things each year, to help myself grow. This year, I added another day of comics, 
watercolor illustrations to my stories,
and for six months I tried putting together a simple graphic novel.
The following six months, I added the Friday flashback posts. Last year, I added comics, a watercolor, and a continuing story that lasted all year.
It’s an exciting time for me. I love feeling like so many possibilities are open. I have a lot of ideas for next year. There are so many things to learn and practice and explore!
I hope that my readers have liked what I’ve chosen to do so far. I am so grateful for everyone who has been kind enough to give me some feedback. Thank you so much!
While I think I have a pretty good idea of what I want to try, I am willing to listen to suggestions. How can I improve? What should I keep doing? What do you not like as well? Is there anything you’d like to see that I’m not already doing?
What goals are you working on? How do you keep yourself accountable? Do you enjoy the planning and research leading up to goal setting?
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