I think it’s human
nature to want to be understood. It’s part of why we tell stories
and create art and explain things. And yet, I’m not sure that we can
completely understand other people without the ability to read minds.
That’s why, even when people are trying really hard to understand, they sometimes don’t quite get it. Often, people aren’t trying really hard. Sometimes they think they already understand, or at least understand well enough. Sometimes they are too busy or don’t think whatever-it-is is worth the effort.
With art, this may
mean that your loved ones belittle or resent the time and money you
spend on your work. Even simple daily sketching costs money in
sketchbooks and writing utensils. Once you add color, the costs just
go up.
The time spent adds
up as well. I’ve found that anything that takes a loved one’s time
and attention away isn’t always tolerated. It’s easy to selfishly
want a loved one available whenever you are available.
There are times you
can invite your loved ones to participate in your art. I sometimes
paint and draw with or alongside my children. I share my comics with
them and ask if they’re funny. I invite my children to read my
stories and tell me what they think. My husband works on my website
and does digital coloring for me.
But, a lot of
times, art is a solitary activity. From what I’ve read (in the
amazing book “Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain,” by Betty
Edwards), that shift into right-brained art space taps into a
different part of the brain than the part that does the talking. I
can sometimes try to talk while I work, but I trail off mid sentence,
or zone out when the other person is talking. Or I say, “Just a
minute, let me just…” and then I start working and forget I was
talking to someone at all.
I’m still learning.
Maybe talking and painting is easier for better artists. I don’t
know. I’ll let you know in a couple of decades.
Denying your desire
to create in order to please others isn’t a good long term solution.
From my experience, the times I thought I was too busy for art
weren’t good for me. I felt guilty that I’d stopped working on my
art. I resented the things that kept me away from it. During the
stressful times, I needed that escape, and nothing else really
substituted all that well.
And so, to preserve your relationships and continue to create art, you need to communicate. You need to share your needs and your goals and what they require. You also need to be willing to listen and understand where other people are coming from. Often, compromise is necessary. Listen, think, communicate, pray, and find a way.
I’m lucky, and my
family is very supportive. However, getting here has required, and
continues to require, a lot of communication. Things that seemed
obvious to me have turned out to be not so obvious and need to be
explained. Things I thought were important turned out to be not so
important after talking them through.
And so, one of the ultimate, important art tools turns out to be communication. Unless you’re in the middle of creating art. Then it doesn’t work so well. So, pick a better time. Choosing an appropriate time and place to talk is part of communication, too.
Do you feel like
your loved ones understand your art? Have you found ways to include
them? What compromises have you made to fit art into your life? Can
you talk and create art at the same time?
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