Category: Alternative Reality

Flashback Friday: Career Counseling

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This story was originally posted on March 17, 2017. I like unusual career ideas. My son, when he was younger, wanted to rule the world when he grew up. He thought he could do a better job of things. I wonder what the career path would be for that?

Mr. Marsh looked up when he heard someone knock on his open door. It looked like the next student had arrived for career counseling.   “Come in,” he said. He checked his schedule. “John?”

“That’s right.” The teenager sat at the edge of his chair with a big smile. Good, that probably meant he had some idea of what he wanted to do after school.

“So, have you given any thought what you’d like to do after next year?” He opened the folder at the top of the pile. “Your grades are good enough to get you into a nice university.”

“No, I think I want to go find the unicorns and live there with them. Like that lady did with the gorillas.” John looked entirely sincere.

Mr. Marsh waited for the moment when his expression would change and he’d shout ‘just kidding.’   It didn’t happen and the silence was beginning to feel awkward. “Um, John,” Mr. Marsh said at last. “Unicorns aren’t real.”

“That’s what they want you to think. Just like the dinosaurs.” John smiled.

Mr. Marsh tapped on his planner with his pen. “Dinosaurs were real. They just all died out.”

“You believe that comet theory?” John raised an eyebrow. “That’s ridiculous. A single comet took out all the dinosaurs?”

“Well, it blocked out the sun and changed the climate, and…”

“And didn’t kill the plants? Or the sharks?” John chuckled.

Mr. Marsh frowned.   “Well, it killed some of the plants.   And sharks are sharks. In any case, they’re all gone and unicorns don’t exist.”

John shrugged.   “Believe what you will.”

“Even if you believe in unicorns, you don’t know where they are. How can living with them be a valid career plan?”

“Finding them will be part of my career, of course.” John looked confident.

“And how do you plan on financing your expeditions?” Mr. Marsh asked. He clicked the end of his pen and prepared to take notes. If John was serious about this, he’d do his best to advise him. Even if he was fairly certain there was a hidden camera somewhere.

“Sponsorships, of course,” John said.

Mr. Marsh sighed.   “How do you plan on attracting sponsors?”

“It shouldn’t be too hard. Everyone likes unicorns.   Of course, the sponsors will have to realize that the unicorns may not agree with me sharing any of my findings.   They are probably hiding for a good reason.” John pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket.

Mr. Marsh leaned forward as John held the paper up. It looked like a list of names written in different handwritings.   “What’s that?”

“My classmates petitioned me to accept sponsors. It’s why I’m considering it even though I don’t think I’ll ever be able to share my research findings.” John folded the list up and put it back in his pocket.

“Then what was your original plan?” Mr. Marsh asked.

“Leprechaun gold.” John smiled. “It will probably be my main source of income. However, I do understand the need people have to be a part of major scientific endeavors. So, I will accept all offers of funding, as long as there are no strings attached.”

Mr. Marsh dropped his pen and leaned back. He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. “John, you do know that there aren’t really any leprechauns, right?”

John rolled his eyes. “That’s what they want you to think.”

“Right. Right.   Like the dinosaurs.” Mr. Marsh took another deep breath.

John smiled.   “Exactly.”

“And how do you plan on obtaining this gold?” Mr. Marsh asked. He picked up his pen.

“Oh the usual way.   Follow a rainbow, trick a leprechaun.   You know.” John shrugged.

Mr. Marsh nodded and took notes. “All right.   Well, I see a lot of time hiking and camping in your future. And a lot of time spent outdoors in the rain. What do you think you need to do to prepare for that?”

John pulled out another piece of paper from a different pocket. He smoothed it out. “I’ve written a supply list. Tell me what you think.”

Mr. Marsh held out a hand and John handed him the paper. He looked over the list. “And where do you plan on finding rope made out of elf hair?”

John shrugged.   “Oh, you know. Usual place. Go to a fairy circle, trick an elf.”

Mr. Marsh sighed.

Secret Passage

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Austin was at the library, looking through the history books. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but he was sure he’d know it when he saw it. Whatever it was.

First, he took out a book about the history of flight and flipped through it. Nope. Then, a book about film history. Nope. He spotted a book about the history of pencils. A whole book about pencils? Interesting, but nope.

That was the end of the second shelf. He knelt down to read the titles on the bottom shelf, and walked sideways on his knees as he scanned each one. Just before he reached the end, something hit his arm as he side-walked. Ouch.

He turned, rubbing his arm, and looked down. There was a doorknob attached to the wall. There wasn’t a door, or even an outline for a door, and the doorknob was rather low. How strange.

Austin tried turning the knob, but it wouldn’t turn. It seemed to be locked, which didn’t make any sense. There wasn’t a keyhole, so how could it be locked? Besides, why would you lock the knob when there wasn’t even a door?

Wait a minute. Austin sat back on his heels and looked more closely at the wall. If the knob was locked, maybe there really was a door here after all. If it didn’t need a key, maybe there was a button or a lever somewhere.

Taking the books off the shelf one at a time didn’t work. He made sure to check the knob after each one, and it stayed locked. There was nothing behind the books, either. The wall seemed to be perfectly flat, other than the door knob.

He tried knocking on the wall as though it were a door. He tried tapping different patterns on the wall. He knocked and tapped quietly, of course. After all, this was a library. Nothing seemed to make any difference.

He tried stepping on each inch of carpet within sight of the door, but there were no clicking sounds, and all of the carpet felt the same. The adventure stories made this seem much easier.

What was next? Magic words. That sometimes worked. He really hoped they weren’t in a different language, because he didn’t know very many words in other languages. He counted to ten in Spanish. Nope. He tried random hissing sounds. Nope.

“Open Sesame.” Nope.

“Abracadabra.” Nope.

“You are a very lovely door.” Nope.

Austin sighed. “Please open.” There was a clicking sound. Austin turned the knob and the whole wall slid sideways, leaving an opening next to the bookshelf.

Inside, there was a short, dark hallway that turned sharply. A little light shone from around the corner. Cautiously, Austin stepped inside. If this was a secret passage for polite people, he needed to remember his manners. “Um, thank you?” The door slid shut.

Was that a good thing? Could he open it from the inside? He’d better check before going any further. “Please open.” The door opened. “Thank you.” It closed.

He walked forward and peeked around the corner. The next hallway was even shorter, and ended in a frosted glass door that was lit brightly from the inside. He thought about politeness and knocked quietly at the door.

A little monkey answered the door. He was wearing a suit and hovering in mid-air. This was probably because of his giant wings. Austin was a little surprised, but tried to continue to be polite. “Pardon me,” he said. “I found this secret passage by accident. I was curious.”

“Oh, that’s alright,” the winged monkey said. “You’re welcome to come in.”

“Thank you.” Austin stepped through the doorway.

The room inside looked like a lot of the other reading rooms in the library. It had comfortable chairs and a small window and shelves of books. There were a few other doors that perhaps led to other secret passages.

Unlike the other rooms, there was a large tank of water with a mermaid in it. A unicorn stood by the window. A short green person with one large eye was sitting in one of the chairs.

He briefly looked around at everyone in the room, but didn’t mention how strange they seemed. Politeness was important here, he knew that. So he didn’t say anything and instead walked over to the bookshelves and started looking at the books.

The history of leprechaun gold? Mermaid battles of the last five hundred years? Modern Sphinx riddles? This was more like it!

He pulled out the last book and looked for an empty chair. He found one and sat down. The room was quiet, except for the occasional sound of a page being turned. It was just right. Austin settled in to read. Being polite really paid off. It was almost magical.

Little Magic

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Maggie had been studying magic for two years, and had only learned three spells. All the other witches laughed at her when they remembered her at all. As most of them had already graduated and moved on to more specific studies, they didn’t remember her very often.

A new class of witches would start lessons in a few weeks, and the teachers had hinted, and then finally bluntly told her, adding diagrams and illustrations that floated in the air, that she would need to move out to make room for the new students. Maggie offered to commute or sleep on the floor and to stand at the back of every class so she didn’t take an extra chair. The teachers said that would just make everyone uncomfortable.

Maggie packed her suitcase and went home. Her broom still didn’t fly, so she strapped it onto her suitcase and started walking. It wasn’t long before a friendly-looking ladybug landed on her sleeve. Luckily, one of her three spells was a translation spell.

The teacher said that it shouldn’t work with animals, only human languages. They said that animal brains and animal languages are too different from human brains and languages. That didn’t make sense to Maggie. Language is an attempt to communicate, so it should be translatable.

Maybe it was her firm belief that it would work that made it possible. Or perhaps Maggie’s magic was just weird, just like all the other students said. In any case, she cast the spell, and could understand the ladybug.

“I’m thirsty and tired,” the ladybug said.

Maggie stopped and took out her map. She traced the road and calculated the distance. “At the rate I’m walking, I’ll reach the river in about an hour. If you’d like to come along, you’re welcome to stay right there.”

“That sounds nice.” The ladybug stretched its wings. “I’ll just take a little nap.”

Maggie kept walking. Somehow the sun seemed a little brighter and the breeze a little cooler. It was a beautiful day.

And then there was a crash of thunder, and dark clouds rolled in out of nowhere. Maggie whispered her second spell, and she was surrounded by an invisible bubble that kept out the rain. The spell wasn’t meant to be an umbrella, but it worked that way all the same. It was just in time, as the rain began to hammer at the outside of her bubble, making the sound of a hundred woodpeckers knocking on the roof at once.

The ladybug squealed in terror. “When I said I wanted water, I didn’t mean this much.”

“Of course not,” Maggie said. “According to my calculations, just two of these raindrops would be more than adequate.”

The ladybug crawled to her wrist. “Leave me here, on one of the trees. I can drink from one of the leaves. I think I like the look of this part of the forest.”

She chose a tree, and Maggie left her there. The ladybug told her a traditional ladybug luck charm. Maggie wasn’t sure that ladybug spells would work for her if witch spells didn’t, but she repeated the spell as she continued walking.

Moments later, she tripped over a turtle and ended up covered in mud. Sighing, Maggie cast a translation spell, and then used her third spell and cleaned off the mud. The turtle gasped.

He looked from side to side. “I can see! Whatever was covering my eyes is gone. Where am I?”

Maggie crouched down and looked at the turtle. “Are you lost? Where do you need to be?”

The turtle looked up. “I was at the river. And then everything was dark.”

Maggie smiled. “I’m going that way. I could take you there.”

“Thank you. The rain is missing you somehow, and I’d like to avoid it, and the mud too.”

Maggie picked up the turtle and kept walking. The turtle hummed a turtle walking song that didn’t have very many notes, but had lots and lots of rests. The rain cleared up just as they reached the river.

Maggie set the turtle on the bank by a big rock that he said looked familiar. She leaned against the big rock and ate lunch as the turtle taught her a little magic tune that would help her be calm even when things were difficult. Then she did some calculations using the position of the sun, the river, and the rock to help the turtle find his home.

She said goodbye, and whispered the ladybug’s luck charm as she left, hoping for good luck for both of them. She looked up, and saw a rainbow in the distance. She imagined it was right over her house. The rain eased up, and stopped by the time she crossed the bridge.

A wolf was waiting on the other side. She cast her translation spell and listened to his demands. Even though she knew humans didn’t believe he owned the woods, she negotiated a price to cross through them. The wolves believed they owned the woods, and Maggie didn’t see any evidence they were wrong.

In they end, they agreed she would give up seventy percent of her dinner, and spell the entire pack clean of mud and rainwater. Maggie’s teachers said the spell wasn’t meant to be used to dry things off, but if it cleaned off the water, then wasn’t that the same thing?

The wolves appeared out of the shadows and surrounded Maggie. She hummed the turtle song of calmness and stood tall and confident. When no more wolves appeared, she cast the spell and set most of her dinner on a fallen log.

The wolves parted to let her pass to get to the log. They watched her continue down the trail through the woods and didn’t follow her. The trail was muddy, and Maggie had to spell her boots clean often to get them unstuck when the mud was especially deep.

The wolf met her again at the end of the trail. Maggie whispered the ladybug charm and hummed the turtle song and kept walking. Just as she passed the wolf, he spoke.

“Why are you not riding your broom?”

“I can’t. I can’t make it fly.” Maggie frowned. “The spell just doesn’t work for me.”

The wolf looked at the broom. “It looks dead. Maybe your spells only work on living things. Cast the spell on yourself.”

Maggie cast the spell on herself, and she floated off the ground. “I’m flying!”

“Good.” The wolf nodded. “For my good advice, I’d like the remaining thirty percent of your food.”

Maggie gladly paid the fee and flew home. The rainbow led the way, disappearing just as her house was in view. Her mother was waiting in the doorway.

“Home already?” she asked.

“I learned that witches’ spells aren’t for me. I think I need to learn magic from the animals, instead.”

Decades later, Maggie’s magic school was attended by both animals and unusual humans. She was considered one of the most gifted witches in her generation. No one would have guessed that she discovered the secret to her success on the same day as her biggest failure. Maggie thought it might have all been due to ladybug luck. The turtle song and wolf advice might have helped, too.

Brothers in Time

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Once upon a time, far in the future, three brothers set out to seek their fortune. Fortunately for them, their father was a brilliant, yet somewhat mad, inventor. So he gave each of them a time machine as they set out on their adventure.

The youngest brother decided to live in a tropical climate before people invented the wheel or fire or tools. He decided that would give him plenty to impress the people with, and life would be easy. And it was, for a time.

Unfortunately, before long, someone came knocking on his door. “We’re the time guardians, let us in,” a deep voice said.

“There’s no such thing,” the youngest brother replied.

“We’re from the future, sent to fix past events that were messed up by unregulated time travel,” the voice said.

“If you’re from my future, shouldn’t you leave me alone as part of the past?” the brother threw his things into a bag and grabbed his time machine.

“Let us in, and we’ll talk about it,” the voice said. The door creaked as it began to open.

The youngest brother grabbed his time machine and set it to home in on his brothers. It took him to the nearest one, the middle brother. He was living in Renaissance Italy.

When the youngest brother arrived, the middle brother was in the middle of a discussion with a number of important scholars. The youngest brother hid until they left, and then he hurried into the house. “Brother, guess what?”

“What are you doing here?” the middle brother asked, looking annoyed.

“There are time guardians from the future trying to stop us from changing anything in the past.” The youngest brother looked around. “Hey, are you going to eat that? I missed bread more than I thought I would.”

The middle brother passed him the loaf, looking thoughtful. “Time guardians? Are you sure?”

The youngest brother nodded. “They said they were from our future.”

“If they’re from our future, shouldn’t they leave us alone as part of the past?”

“That’s what I said!” The youngest brother looked out the window. “Hey, are you expecting company?”

“No, why?”

The youngest brother pointed. “There’s a group of people headed this way. Oh, here they are.”

Someone knocked on the door. “We’re the time guardians, let us in,” a deep voice said.

“There’s no such thing,” the middle brother said. He quickly packed a bag and grabbed his time machine. He looked at the youngest brother, who was already setting the machine to jump to their oldest brother.

“We’re from the future –” the voice began, but the brothers left before they could hear the end of the sentence.

The youngest brother was still holding the loaf of bread. He chewed on it as he looked around. “Where are we?”

“Moon Base Alpha,” the oldest brother said, stepping away from the sink and wiping his hands on his coveralls. “They needed a permanent maintenance worker, and I was familiar enough with the technology to impress them. I got the job.”

“But didn’t they abandon that base when the funding ran out?” the middle brother asked.

“Yes, and it was self-sustaining,” the oldest brother said. “I think I can make a case for staying on and maintaining things if I volunteer my time for room and board.”

“But won’t you get lonely?” the youngest brother asked.

“Video chats. Plus, they’ll develop teleporters soon enough. If the base is in good working order, maybe they’ll select it as a tourist site or a historical monument.” The oldest brother shrugged. “I thought it was worth the risk.”

“Do they need any more maintenance workers?” the middle brother asked. “We need a place to hide from the time guardians.”

“There’s no such thing,” the oldest brother said.

“Yes there is. They’re from our future,” the youngest brother said. “They want us to stop messing with the past.”

“If they’re from our future, shouldn’t they leave us alone as part of the past?”

“That’s what I said,” the youngest and middle brothers said together.

The oldest brother sighed. “Tell me what you know.”

The other two brothers shrugged. “That’s pretty much it,” the youngest brother admitted.

“You didn’t stay and talk to them? Of course you didn’t.” The oldest brother shook his head.

Just then, someone knocked on the door. “We’re the time guardians, let us in,” a deep voice said.

“Coming,” said the oldest brother. He let them in.

The men in spacesuits took off their helmets after they came through the air locks. They sat down on the chairs in the lobby of the station across from the three brothers. “We’re from the future,” one of the men began in a deep voice.

“And you don’t want us to change the past,” the youngest brother said.

“That’s right,” the man said.

“What about maintaining it?” the oldest brother asked. “Can we get permission for that? Or research? There must be some way that we can use our time machines without hurting the past or the future.”

“Of course there is,” the man said. “Let me give you some of the paperwork with the rules you need to follow. If you are willing to agree to the rules, and come to the future for some training, we would be happy to allow you to continue to use your time machines.”

And so the brothers read the rules and went to the training. The youngest brother joined the time guardians. The middle brother became a historian. The oldest brother continued to live on the moon. And they all lived happily long before they were born.

The end.

Flashback Friday: The Little Bear

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This story was originally posted on May 30, 2017. I like the idea of bears with magic living in clans. How will the little bear earn the chance to truly be a bear? Will there be a quest? Tasks?

Rufus was patrolling the boundaries of the clan’s territory when he found him.   There, in a spot where their territory overlapped the human territory, a small bear was lying on his side in a patch of sunlight. Rufus felt that unnatural calm that precedes a battle as he charged forward, bellowing to warn away any attackers.

He couldn’t see any attackers, and the little bear didn’t move. Rufus towered over the little cub. He nudged at him with his nose. The little guy didn’t smell right. His eyes were glassy and his fur was an odd color.   When Rufus picked him up in his paws, the little bear’s legs flopped as though there were no bones. He was obviously under some sort of terrible human spell.

Rufus rushed the little guy straight to the clan elders. “I need some help,” he said, as he charged into the hidden cave. “It’s terrible. A spell has been cast on this little cub.”

The elders rushed forward, with the clan mage in the lead. “Put him on the floor here and let me examine him,” the healer said. “I can determine if there has been a spell cast or not.”

Rufus laid the little bear down on the ground. He backed up and the elders crowded closer. The healer stepped forward and listened to the cub’s chest and lifted and dropped one of his legs. He peered closely into his eyes. “Is it a spell?” Rufus asked.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” the healer said, looking closely at the cub’s ears. “Where did you find him?”

“At the edge of the human territory.” Rufus nodded back towards the cave entrance. “He was lying on the ground. I picked him up and brought him straight here.”

“Did you see anything on the ground around him?” The healer looked up at Rufus.   “Was there anything unusual in the area?”

“I don’t think so,” Rufus said. “I didn’t look very closely. I was really worried about the cub.” He began to pace at the edge of the circle of elders, watching the cub.

“Of course,” the healer said. “Rightly so. Well, this is beyond my skill.”   He nodded to the clan mage and stepped back.

The clan mage conjured a ball of light and let it dance over the little bear.   “Hmmmm.”

“What does that mean?” Rufus stopped pacing. “Can you help him?”

“I’m not sure.” The mage raised his paw and the light paused above the cub’s forehead. “I don’t know who he was or what was done to him. All I can safely say is that he is currently not a bear.”

“What do you mean?” the clan eldest asked. “We can all see that this is definitely a bear. What else could he be?”

“He does not have the bones of a bear. He does not have the skin or hair of a bear. He does not have the insides of a bear. He only has the shape of a bear,” the mage said. He huffed and the light blinked out.

Rufus looked around the circle at the clan elders. “Can’t we help him?”

“There is an old spell,” the mage said. He paused and looked up at the ceiling of the cave.

Rufus waited. The mage continued to look up. Rufus coughed. The mage didn’t glance his way.   Finally Rufus couldn’t wait any longer.   “What does the spell do?” he asked.

The mage looked down again and glanced around the circle. “I cannot make something that is not-bear into a bear.   However, I can give him the chance to earn the form himself.”

“What do you mean?” the clan eldest asked. “How could he earn the chance to be a bear?”

“He will awaken and have the chance to live and learn and choose. If he chooses to truly be a bear, then he will be one.” The mage picked up the little cub and held him up.

“What will he be before then?” The clan eldest looked down at the cub.

“A not-yet-bear.” The mage tapped the bear’s forehead with a claw.

“Can’t you do anything else?” Rufus asked.

“This is the best I can do,” the mage said. He laid the cub down again, head towards the cave entrance, feet towards the heart of the cave.

The clan eldest stepped back. “Then perform the spell.” The rest of the circle stepped back, leaving the mage standing by the little cub.

The mage’s voice rumbled and echoed through the cave. The little bear glowed. The bears blinked, and the light was gone. The mage looked over at the clan eldest. “It is done. It is now up to him.”

The little bear blinked and stretched. The clan eldest stepped forward. “He is waking up. I will explain this to him.”

Rufus followed the other clan elders out of the cave. “What happens now?” he asked.

The clan mage glanced back at the cave and huffed. “I don’t know.”